Trying Again

We all have burdens to carry. Some of us carry heavier burdens, some carry more. It’s easier for me to carry mine close inside, where few people see them. So when I am asked the ubiquitous “Hi, how’s it going?” I am reminded to never ever answer truthfully. Yes, I realize the question is most... Continue Reading →

To See the Stars

The challenges are relentless. But it’s not in my nature to ask “Why me?” I’ve always known that I didn’t have a special pass from the Fate Department. No “get out of jail free” card. No winning raffle ticket. I have, however, wondered just who, and in what lifetime or universe, I made so angry... Continue Reading →

To See You Again

22 October 2019 I have spent so much time these past months responding to quesitons of, “See it? It’s right over there.” And then the helpful reiteration in different words, often followed by gestures to indicate the exact location of whatever they want me to see. “Do you see it?” “No. I can’t see it.”... Continue Reading →

You Should

20 Oct 2019 The insomnia that has dogged me for decades has given no indication of leaving. Even though the side effect of virtually every drug I am on is “may casue drownisess” with the added “do not operate heavy machinery ...” Apparently, it’s only the obsucre side effects that I get to experience. Insomnia... Continue Reading →


We were different once. Employed. Strong. Organized. Blithe, even. And then came the tremors. The freezing. The falls. The quiet voice. The loss of a sense of smell. The symptoms as varied as we are. The CEO, custodian, homemaker, executive director. Teacher. Doctor. Lawyer. Professional actor or athlete or singer. Or comedian. So different once... Continue Reading →

Three Days of Grace

  I believe we are given moments of grace - just when we need them the most. When our hearts are sore, when we are afraid, when we don’t know which way to turn. Three days last week were moments of grace I desperately needed. And now, it is as if I have turned a... Continue Reading →

For Those to Whom This Matters

After three weeks of more meds and hoping this hiccup did not count as ¨unstable,¨ I received some good news at the retinologist on Friday. Hgh doses of steroids, whether focused or systemic, have some unpleasant side effects. Ophthalmic steroids can increase eye pressure a lot … and quickly. This time it did not. Steroids... Continue Reading →

Humira Again

Last week began with a call from Walgreens Alliance Pharmacy, asking if I needed to arrange for another month’s supply of Humira. “Yes,” I said. “That would be great.” We went through timing, delivery, the regular questions, and then she mentioned the $1200 co-pay. “Were you expecting that?” she asked. “Um, no.” The conversation deteriorated... Continue Reading →

And So I Persist

I live by the words, “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.” They help me face Parkinson’s and life with a combination of cheer, sarcasm, and darkness. And a dose of refusal. I refuse to let this insidious, sneaky, passive aggressive  coward of a... Continue Reading →

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