Beyond Words

I am beyond words. For a writer and a teacher, that’s a strange place to be. I started writing a blow-by-blow description of my retinology appointment today, but I can’t. Just know that at the time it was happening, I managed to make it to the elevator before completely falling apart. Dr. Lin is beside... Continue Reading →

Lucky

Just because you don’t believe in something, doesn’t mean it’s not real. Or true. I used to believe I was lucky. When I was a child, I was often hurt. I bruised easily, fell frequently, took more than my share of tumbles. But every time I got back up, I thought, “Whew, that could have... Continue Reading →

I Can See

  One week after cataract surgery, and I am still at a loss for words. I feel like I’ve been working so hard to keep it together. To be strong. Positive. Fierce. Only to have my best laid plans go awry. Awry? I just thought, More like blown to smithereens. But now, one week after... Continue Reading →

Trying Again

We all have burdens to carry. Some of us carry heavier burdens, some carry more. It’s easier for me to carry mine close inside, where few people see them. So when I am asked the ubiquitous “Hi, how’s it going?” I am reminded to never ever answer truthfully. Yes, I realize the question is most... Continue Reading →

To See the Stars

The challenges are relentless. But it’s not in my nature to ask “Why me?” I’ve always known that I didn’t have a special pass from the Fate Department. No “get out of jail free” card. No winning raffle ticket. I have, however, wondered just who, and in what lifetime or universe, I made so angry... Continue Reading →

To See You Again

22 October 2019 I have spent so much time these past months responding to quesitons of, “See it? It’s right over there.” And then the helpful reiteration in different words, often followed by gestures to indicate the exact location of whatever they want me to see. “Do you see it?” “No. I can’t see it.”... Continue Reading →

You Should

20 Oct 2019 The insomnia that has dogged me for decades has given no indication of leaving. Even though the side effect of virtually every drug I am on is “may casue drownisess” with the added “do not operate heavy machinery ...” Apparently, it’s only the obsucre side effects that I get to experience. Insomnia... Continue Reading →

Essence

We were different once. Employed. Strong. Organized. Blithe, even. And then came the tremors. The freezing. The falls. The quiet voice. The loss of a sense of smell. The symptoms as varied as we are. The CEO, custodian, homemaker, executive director. Teacher. Doctor. Lawyer. Professional actor or athlete or singer. Or comedian. So different once... Continue Reading →

Three Days of Grace

  I believe we are given moments of grace - just when we need them the most. When our hearts are sore, when we are afraid, when we don’t know which way to turn. Three days last week were moments of grace I desperately needed. And now, it is as if I have turned a... Continue Reading →

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